162 Candles
by Twi-Vamp
Summary: Don’t you see that? He’s never gonna change" His voice is fierce and almost hysterical as he tries to show her just how much his brother has hurt him over the centuries, how he’s spoilt everything Stefan has ever cared about. SXE Episode 8 spoilers.
1. Falling

He see's the stake forced into her chest, he see's his brother murmur something to her before driving it in further, the glint in his brother's eyes before his eyes are drawn unwillingly back to his oldest friend as she falls.

Stefan is vaguely aware that Elena is standing next to him, hand at her throat but all he can see is darkness, black and twisted. His vision eventually clears when he hears his brother speak to the police officer, voice full of concern.

'Are you okay?'

And he leaves. He walks away from the voice that haunts him, away from Lexi, blonde hair splayed around her as her skin becomes waxy, where she had died her final death.

He gets as far as the car park, the onlookers and police crowding behind him making noise that was all too easy to block out.

"Stefan...Stefan." He ignores her, his face bent towards the ground, shoulder hunched with the tension and effort of keeping a hold on his emotions. So many years of controlling the faintest sense of emotion, and all his defences are coming down _now_.

She reaches out for his arm and he can no longer ignore her, he wheels to face her, irrational with grief.

"He killed her." His voice is thick with emotion but his eyes are fierce "He killed Zac. He killed Tanner. He turned Vicki" she can see that he is struggling with his emotions, telling himself not to cry and trying to translate his devastation into something else.

"I have to kill him." His voice is full of quiet cold determination as he turns and walks away, afraid that if he says something his _brother _will feel the need to hurt her too, the only one that he's ever cared about that is _left_ for _him_ to hurt. She can see the remorse and sorrow beneath his anger, in his voice, even as she is stunned by his expression and words. It is a side she has never seen of Stefan, a side so completely different to his usual calm and collected self that she finds herself wondering if she ever knew him at all.

And she still follows. "No you can't do that" her voice is breathless with her desire to make him understand as he walks away. She reaches out for him and he turns.

"Why are you trying to save him, Elena- he's _never_ gonna change! Don't you see that? _He's never gonna change_" His voice is fierce and almost hysterical as he tries to show her just how much his brother has hurt him over the centuries, how he's spoilt everything Stefan has ever cared about.

He turns away again but Elena tells herself not to let him walk away and to listen to Lexi's words from earlier that evening, back when the gorgeous blonde vampire could still laugh and talk and was still beautiful and care-free. She has to save Stefan from himself, for Lexi as much as for herself.

"I'm not trying to save him- I'm trying to save you" She takes his hand as he is walking and tries to pull him back, to stop him from doing something she knows he will regret "You have no idea what this will do to you, _please Stefan_" She is breathless again, whilst trying to make him understand- trying to make him listen. And finally he turns to her.

"Everywhere that I go pain and death follow" She can see the grim acceptance in his eyes, hear it in his voice- he honestly believes in what he is telling her, and a part of her knows that she should be terrified, but she can't bring herself to leave this long suffering man when he needs someone the most.

"Damon follows me" Elena also sees the anguish and the guilt, the centuries worth of pain at losing his brother, at losing everything he once cared about, and now this. He had lost his family, his brother, his love and now his oldest friend too. She finds herself wishing it could have been her that was killed instead; then, at least, she wouldn't be able to scar his already frayed emotions anymore herself, then at least, he would still have had one person left to comfort him.

"No more" his words are determined and final, masking a life-time of pain and are a sign to her that she should give up, but she won't leave him.

"Stefan please, _please _just- just talk to me" She wishes for things to go back to how they had been before, that she could make everything that would ever hurt him disappear.

"let me be here for you, talk to me-"

"No" his voice is broken and he can feel the tears coming, as he sees the hurt on her face Stefan finds himself hating what he is more than he ever has before.

He finally looks up, he has been looking at the floor as he spoke, trying to hide his emotions from her. His eyes are shining but refuse to release the moisture and his voice is defeated and rough.

"You were right to stay away from me"

And then she watches him walk away.


	2. The Brightest Candle

Elena gathered her courage as she approached the front door of the Salvatore boarding house, afraid of what she might find.

She knew that Damon was so much stronger than Stefan, she knew that the chances of Stefan winning a fight against his brother were unlikely, but she still hoped. Stefan had the element of surprise, she told herself, he was in such a rage who knew what he was capable of. And, she thought suddenly, the sheer madness of attacking someone that much stronger than him would surely throw Damon for a moment.

And yet she still couldn't make herself knock on the door. The chances of one of them killing the other were too high. And she didn't want to think of who would win.

After a few more minutes of breathing in the chilled night air, gazing at the old oak door in front of her she decided it was better just to find out.

She raised her hand to knock but before she could the door opened and she found herself looking up into the face of a smirking Damon Salvatore.

And the world fell apart around her. "D-Damon" she managed to whisper before she blacked out.

Stefan heard his brother open the front door from his room but didn't hear the footsteps on the gravel that he was expecting. He strained his ears and heard a soft heartbeat through the pane of glass of his bedroom window. He was across the room and opening the window in a heartbeat and then he was sliding gracefully from the second story, hitting the ground in a cat-like stance, just in time to hear her whisper his brother's name.

"Elena!" he caught her just as her limp body was about to hit the gravel of the driveway.

"What did you do to her?!" his eyes were burning as he watched his brothers face darken.

"Nothing at all _brother_. She just got a little shock when I opened the door instead of you- that's all" he spat before disappearing into the house, leaving the front door open.

Stefan cradled Elena gently to his chest as he walked up the stairs towards his bedroom. As he placed her softly on the bed her eye-lids fluttered.

"Elena" Stefan sighed in relief, sitting on the bed and watching her face carefully as she regained consciousness. He didn't like seeing her so still and pale, it was almost too easy to imagine it had been her that had been killed, and that he knew he wouldn't survive.

"Stefan!" Elena sat up suddenly, eyes widening.

"Oh my god! But- when Damon opened the door- I thought- I" she closed the space between them instantly and hugged him desperately.

"Hey-its okay, I'm alright" Stefan hugged her back for a moment before pulling away, looking into her face.

"I'm so glad you're okay!" she hugged him again before abruptly pulling away "But what happened, I thought-" she cut herself off, seeing the way he ducked his head when he was reminded of their earlier argument.

"He saved my life once- I repaid the favour. But it's the last time" he met her eyes, gazing into them intently as he always did, but he looked away from her when he finished speaking.

"Stefan" her voice was soft yet compelling, and he looked up to see her studying his face intently. "Stefan, I'm so sorry." She whispered slowly, taking his hand in hers. She didn't say anything more, knowing that he understood.

"I know" he sighed, closing his eyes momentarily.

"She was my oldest friend" his eyes were still closed as he spoke softly. "She didn't deserve it" his voice was icy and heart-broken. Elena felt her heart sink as she saw one solitary tear slide down his cheek.

She didn't speak, just pulled him towards her, feeling the way he gave in completely and relaxed in her arms, his chest heaving against hers with his held in emotions. "I'm sorry" she whispered again as she heard him take a deep breath at her ear.

"She was always there for me, she was all I had." he was whispering now, almost to himself. And then he was silent for a few minutes, swallowed completely by his grief as Elena held him.

He pulled away after a few more minutes his face only streaked with three solitary tears. "I'm sorry, Elena, you shouldn't have had to see that"

"no, it's okay." She looked into his devastated eyes and wished that she could share his pain.

"She was always so bright, like a candle amongst embers, she burnt brightest. Of all the vampires and humans I've ever met." Elena smiled sadly at him as he looked into her eyes.

"When you've known someone for that long, and you know them that well- they become a part of you" he sighed "even now, when she hasn't been gone a day, I can already feel her fading. I'm going to be...lonely without her" he said the word as though it almost surprised him.

"I mean, I've been on my own my whole life, but I've never been _lonely_." Stefan closed his eyes again and rubbed his hand across them.

"No, you won't Stefan." He looked up at her, his expression confused. "It's going to hurt, without her. And of course, I'm not even suggesting that I could ever replace her. But I won't let you be alone" she looked into his eyes "I'll always be here for you, in whichever way you want me to be" she felt him take her hand and squeezed it gently, trying to reassure him.

"Thank you" Stefan squeezed her hand back.

"I should let you get home" Stefan gazed out the window at the jet black sky and Elena could hear the longing disappointment in his voice.

"No, I can stay, if you want. So you don't have to be alone"

Stefan turned to face her abruptly. "Are you sure? You don't have to"

"It's okay, Aunt Jenna thinks I'm staying at Bonnie's anyway"

"Thank you, Elena" Stefan smiled at her as she kicked her shoes off and stretched back on the bed.

"You can keep telling me about her, if you want. It might help to remember the good times"

Stefan stretched out beside her, leaning against the head board and took her hand in his.

"We met in Italy, not long after I had been changed, and as soon as I met her she told me we were going to be friends for a long time, forever." He stopped at the memory and took a deep breath. "I laughed, of course. Forever still seemed so far off to me then, but Lexi always had a way of making you laugh with her, not at her. And she knew how to have fun."

Elena listened as Stefan recounted some of the times he had spent with Lexi over the past century until Elena fell asleep against him, his arm around her as they both drifted into unconsciousness.


End file.
